Happy.

"Life is God's greatest gift to us"

That's what the holocaust survivor I saw today told us.

I live such a blessed life but what the hell am I supposed to do with it?

I'm in a weird place right now. I have many questions but very few answers.

I'm trying to figure out another working student position but it's taking longer than I thought. I'm also trying to figure out Caruso. I love him to death but I really don't know if I will ever be able to ride him. I have a lot of doubts. I am so close to giving up. So close. so so close. I just want to do the right thing.

I went and visited my friend at Trinity University the other day and is was weird being on campus where I'm "supposed to be." I would be a junior now.

College. What's the point...."so you can make money" right. so I can support myself and this thing I do with horses. so I can be somebody one day. so I can live happily ever after.

If I were forced to associate myself with anything academic at the moment, I'd love to take a creative writing class. That's it.

This last month has been real tough. It's great being back home. I've had to think and process a lot and it's taking a while.

It sucks.